Blond Jokes Don’t Apply
When I started in business one of my first jobs involved traveling the South, from Texas to Georgia. As most men-in-suits with similar beats soon discovered, the prettiest women in the world inhabited Dallas Airport. Second, of course, was Atlanta’s Hartfield. It was always a pleasure to hang-out in transit lounges, taking in the varying views. I soon instructed our travel agent to allow two hours between connecting flights.When my region expanded, I discovered LAX was a good place to mingle. The contrast to Dallas was startling. In Texas women are made-up and well turned out, mildly formal with warm, intoxicating manners. Californians in transit tended toward sportswear, ponytails and a sort of easy but in-your-face exuberance, and exhibited beaming health, a deceit from too much sunshine. As I climbed the corporate ladder, my responsibilities branched to Europe. There I discovered a new brand of beauty occupying the escalators and moving walks of the transit culture, much more sophisticated than found in America, exotic and tastefully turned-out, like a Milan fashion magazine. Then, the mother lode. A tour of Scandinavia, including airports in Norway, Sweden, Finland and Denmark, the focus of my second European trip. I knew things looked favorable when I boarded the plane in New York. Fellow passengers tended to be tall, blue-eyed and blond. Even older women exhibited a Nordic allure, trim, well groomed, neatly dressed in a way to highlight their feminine features (rather than diminish them, a sad sartorial turn evident in the states). The topper airport experience occurred in Copenhagen, where breathtaking beauty made one’s head spin, from gate to taxi stand. This is a long way to go to get to the topic of Denmark’s nudist beaches, but there is a good reason. The best nudist beaches are in Denmark, best because they reliably and assuredly have the most tantalizing naked women in attendance of any nudist beach in the world. I know because within days of arriving, my host took me to Falster Island, where he kept a summer cottage. It was as if all of those beautiful women I saw in the Copenhagen airport decided to skip work and go to this nude beach. This leads me to my general theorem that the typical airport population of any big city offers a preview of what you’ll find on their local nudist beaches. To check the validity of this theorem, go to the Cleveland airport, then visit Mile Beach. You’ll see what I mean. But nudism is a misnomer in Denmark. It’s more efficient to name the non-nudist beaches, not more than a handful. In constrast to LAX, the ubiquitous blonds you see in Denmark are no laughing matter–blond jokes don’t apply.