Nudist Couples Self-Outing

If you’ve been on a nudist beach or at an adult nudist resort you can count on being outed to the world as a nudist, whether you wanted it or not.


Some couples prefer to set the record and out themselves. “I got pissed-off when a porno-nudist site somehow published a naked picture of my wife on Haulover Beach. Then I thought, well, she is very attractive. Why don’t I publish my own series?”

Also, once again the nudist “Goddess Effect” and other musings from practicing nudists.

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Hey, That’s My Wife!

Nudist Emotional Highs & Other Weirdness
“Our first day at a clothing optional, adults-only resort in the Caribbean, I saw my wife get nude for the first in a mixed group of strangers, and it was the most arousing moment of my life. We’d boarded a catamaran at the resort’s dock wearing our suits. We hadn’t discussed whether we’d partake of the clothing optional business. When other couples started stripping down, my usually very prim and fairly attractive wife looked at me, shrugged, and began removing her suit. It was very erotic. Within a couple minutes she’d met some other couples and was chatting away like she was at a PTA meeting. Needless to say, there was no way I could remove my suit at that moment.”

No, that’s not Penthouse Forum stuff, but just the kind of thing you hear talking with men who enjoy nudism with their wives or girlfriends–there’s something about having your mate viewed naked by other men that can be very stimulating, and in ways that stick with youforever. “Let’s say, when we’re being intimate, all I have to do is recall her taking off her suit on a public beach, or standing at the bar nude at an adult resort, and I lose it. Timing is everything. I have to keep those thoughts out of my mind until I know it’s the right moment to, you know, finish.” 

When You Cross That Line

This could fit in Nudist House or Candid Nudity, but that would miss the point–there’s a Rubicon crossed when, for the first time, a woman you’re newly with gets up (from whatever was occupying you both) and, stark-naked, heads to the bathroom or maybe the kitchen. It’s a delicious moment dressed in that minor “Well, here I am” way that’s both frank admission and implied agreement: Now we can move about naked. It could have been six hours before that you’d just met. 

Life is grand that way. Is it ‘nudist’ on any level? We think so, as there’s a spirit of body freedom that’s undeniable, and that’s what nudism is largely about.

Resort Nudity 

You might be surprised at how many clothing optional resorts now span the Caribbean (and with the current obesity epidemic, feel somewhat frightened at the prospect). Fortunately these destination resorts seem more for the fit and trim (the cruise lines get all the rest).

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Female Perspectives

What Women Want?
When asked about what attracts them to men on a nudist beach, women seem to keep two sets of books. One is for show, the other for their personal use. There’s a big asexual pitch on most nudist sites, which is fine, but we think it covers just half of the story.  Your personal experience on a nudist beach occurs in your brain, which is hopefully able to control any outward evidence of your thoughts. Your outward participation and behavior is of course what you make public. We thought women had it lucky on that score. Apparently we were wrong.

“Oh, no, I do get aroused from the visual clues around me on a nudist beach. I’ve noticed other women do too,” said one female participant at the Tulum workshop. Well, what do you mean? “There’s some swelling. You know, you see the engorgement but it’s more subtle than a man’s erection.” Oh that. Pink.

So, what gets you that way?

The word “packaging” was adopted and applied to what a man carries around with him on a nudist beach. Regrettably, it’s more an object of befuddlement than appreciation. “They are so different. They’re like snowflakes.”

So what is it about the packaging that they like? Symmetrical arrangement was what things narrowed down to. To paraphrase:  “A nice sack, not too long, not shrunken [remember the Seinfeld episode?], the penis protruding about an inch further down than the testicles. A little tumescence is nice too.”

Unfortunately that can only describe a man who hasn’t had a recent dip, whose been lying in the sun letting things “bake,” and isn’t eighty-eight years old. Usually what you see on the men on most nudist beaches is a little knobby thing being offered to the world above a hard nut sack that’s halfway receded into their pelvic area, to put it crudely. “Oh, we know about shrinkage.” Thank God.

And the drum roll question is always this: cut or uncut?

It swings to cut among American women. European women don’t seem to understand the question.

Women were asked to judge from a broad selection of photos representing various sizes and shapes of both man and penis and pick the one they found with the highest factor. The winner is below:

Vastly apparent is the youth of the subject, also the apparent symmetry mentioned above, the trim physique. Not making even the short list were any men with just slight paunches (sorry), but otherwise not much mattered. Notably, none of the muscle builder types were considered very attractive (and all seemed to suffer from very minor packaging. There is a God).

Muscle tone is desirable, especially in the arms and upper chest. Of course droopy buttocks, well, no one wants to see that. (Fifteen weighted squats twice per week takes care of any problem in that area, regardless of age.)

Lastly, grooming was a big factor. Don’t shave, but trim. The shaved look was summarily dismissed (to the the surprise of some smooth nudists in attendance), except no one seemed to mind if the testicles were “bald.” Be careful down there.

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Better Than Golf

Dancing With Naked Girls In Bohemia


Broad spectrum nudism (the whole story) has its interesting facets (likely the very ones you’re looking for) and a few that are less appealing (which lend it its democratic vision–body freedom for all). Put another way, I’ve experienced examples of human form that caused me to turn away in stomach churning fright. Fortunately the compensating ‘facets’ alluded to above far outweigh the negative, and by that I of course mean those beach sightings that singe themselves into memory, the frequent brilliant examples of nubile human form that also happen to be my fellow nudists. In short: Younger Nudists.

I’m just back from a quick trip to Playa Zipolite, Mexico. It isn’t a formal, high-profile nudist destination like you find in Europe, but a lazy cul-de-sac of a beach side village pursuing a more laid-back, hedonistic tempo. In ways it reminds of what Bolinas, CA. would become in a more gentle climate. Don’t feel like wearing your suit? Don’t. Want to lie naked in a hammock all day and watch relaxing souls unwind in their altogether on the beach? Go for it. What I find appealing about Zipolite is its patrons are the average sort of American free-spirited types, skewing to young (twenties to thirties, some teens) that seem to be embracing their boomer parents former idealism.

The point is, if you’re a  liberal middle fifties/early sixties male you might fit right in. You might think not–I’ve heard other men say “Young women don’t want to see old men naked.” I’ve not heard nor seen any evidence of this;  if the man in question is basically fit I’ve walked my relatively trim and fit naked fifty-nine-year-old corpse all over nudist beaches without witnessing a frown or heave of any kind. I’ve played volley-ball with naked teenagers. My fitness regimen isn’t Olympian–just two sessions with weights per week, a few basic core exercise and arm work (I feel I have to earn the right to walk among younger nudists. I wish more felt that way).

This is neither a review of Zipolite nor nudism generally aside from the realization that occurred to me sitting in a nudist bar with some fellow bohemians (excited by some recent tremors–very earthy experience if you’re not familiar with them)–If I stay fit, nudism is one of those recreations one can enjoy nearly until death. Some say the same about golf. I’d rather run around naked with younger women in exotic locales, but maybe that’s just me. Gerald.

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